I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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