East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
