Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
