That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
