Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
