I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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