this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
