Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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