I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
