how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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