So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
