I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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