Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize