I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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