I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
