This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize