My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
