That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
