i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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