I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
