can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
