Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
