You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
