I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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