How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
