she was so not down for the gang bang
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
