Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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