i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
