literally had 100 drinks last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
