she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
