thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
