before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
