is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
