I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
