I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
