we have officially lost it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
