operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
