I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
