Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize