I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I don't think brook has ever known best
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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