I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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