I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
