did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize