Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
