Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
