..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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