is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize