My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
