if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize