I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
