I accidentally burped into my bong.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
