I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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