pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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