I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
