Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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