We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
