Buhtt sex?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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