lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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