If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
