Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize