ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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