He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
