dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
