How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
