oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
