the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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