Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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