Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
