apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
love makes seman taste better
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
