i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
