You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize