i jhust puked up my retainher.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
