am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
