hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
