Porn is love you can see.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
NoShamevember. You game?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
