I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i dont even know how to be here
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
