Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize