theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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