Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
