remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
