its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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