It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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