My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
there is puke in my bra ... again
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
