there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
