I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
