Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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