Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
