She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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